"When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh."Let's burn some dust here, eat my rubber!" – Clark.And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of a**holes this side of the nuthouse." – Clark "We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f***ing Kaye.This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here." – Clark Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving."Eat my road grit, Liver Lips!" – Clark."Oh, the silent majesty of a winter’s morn, the clean, cool chill of the holiday air, and an a**hole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer." – Clark."Yes, it's a bit nipply out, I mean nippy out." - Clark."Wouldn't be the holiday shopping season if the stores weren't hooter than they-hotter than they are." - Clark."I was just looking at something for my wife, God rest her soul." – Clark."Worse? How can things get any worse? Take a look around you, Ellen! We’re at the threshold of hell!" – Clark."If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised." – Clark."Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?" – Clark.Here are some of the classic lines he made famous including Clark's epic rant about his boss. Grisold, JrĬhevy Chase is unforgettable as Clark, hapless husband, father and the head of the Griswold family. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas." – Clark W. "She falls down a well, her eyes go cross.
#Cousin eddie christmas vacation tv
"If only I had that money Catherine and I gave to that TV preacher who was screwin' that hockey player." – Cousin Eddie."And if it wouldn’t be too much, I’d like to get something for you, Clark… something real nice." – Cousin Eddie."You ain't never seen a set on a dog like this one's got, Clark." – Cousin Eddie.
If you don’t mind my askin’, how much did she set you back?" – Cousin Eddie "Clark, I’d like to try to fumigate this here chair, it’s a good quality item.Every time Catherine would rev up the microwave, I’d piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour." – Cousin Eddie "They had to replace my metal plate with a plastic one.It's a good looking vehicle, ain't it?" – Cousin Eddie Yeah, yeah, I borrowed it off a buddy of mine. "Clark, that’s the gift that keeps on giving the whole year."– Cousin Eddie."Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas, Clark! You about ready to do some kissing?" – Cousin Eddie."I don't know if I should go sailin' down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic." – Cousin Eddie."Merry Christmas! Sh*tter was full!" – Cousin Eddie.He thinks that next year he’ll be guessing people’s weight or barkin’ for the yak lady." – Cousin Eddie
#Cousin eddie christmas vacation movie
So pour some eggnog and grab some Christmas cookies while you read through these memorable quotes.Īnd if you love holiday movies, check our these 125 Christmas movie trivia questions! Best National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation Quotes If you're a fan of the 1989 holiday movie classic National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (and the sequel), you're probably quoting it this time of year.
In honor of the holiday tradition, here are the funniest Christmas vacation quotes from Cousin Eddie, Clark and the whole gang. There's nothing like a family vacation, unless it's with the Griswolds.
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